50 reasons I haven’t written recently

It seems I haven’t written any articles recently. But I had a good reason for my absence. Actually, I had 50 good reasons:

1. I’m too good a writer to spend my time writing.
2. I’m too bad a writer to spend my time writing.
3. I couldn’t think of anything to write about.
4. There were too many things to write about.
5. English has too many words. It’s unmanageable.
6. I was too busy.
7. I finally got free time and didn’t want to waste it doing something productive.
8. I’m still recovering from Daylight Savings time.
9. It was too hot to write.
10. It was too cold to write.
11. It was too early to write.
12. It was too late to write.
13. Three bears distracted me.
14. I forgot the difference between a participle and gerund and was worried I’d embarrass myself.
15. My glasses were smudged.
16. I was cleaning my glasses.
17. I was taking harpsichord lessons.
18. I realized that my career as a harpsichord player had limited upside, switched to the pan flute, and ran into the same issue.
19. I was training for the World’s Strongest Man Competition.
20. I failed to qualify for the World’s Strongest Man Competition.
21. I started training for the World’s Weakest Man Competition. Realized there was no such thing. Considered starting it.
22. It was baseball season.
23. It was football season.
24. It was golf season.
25. It was soccer season.
26. My shoes came untied.
27. I was looking into getting slip-on shoes.
28. I was hungry.
29. I ate too much.
30. I was tired.
31. I was too restless.
32. My desk was too cluttered.
33. I was cleaning my desk.
34. I couldn’t remember where I put the things that used to be on my desk.
35. I was trying to remember the Spanish word for ‘lemon.’
36. I was worried that not remembering the Spanish word for ‘lemon’ was a sign of cognitive decline.
37. I was wondering if I would care about my cognitive decline if I was too declined to remember the cognition I lost.
38. I ran out of breadcrumbs.
39. I read about the importance of Vitamin D.
40. I was standing outside to get Vitamin D.
41. It’s too painful to write with sunburn.
42. I lost a sock.
43. I found a sock I thought I lost, but I already got rid of the other sock, and had to deal with pangs of regret.
44. My pen ran out of ink.
45. My highlighter ran out of… highlighter juice.
46. I had to evaluate what color highlighters to get.
47. I had to deal with the anxiety resulting from too many highlighter options.
48. My foot fell asleep.
49. My bookmark fell out and I had to find my page.
50. I was–squirrel!