About Jonathan Lemon

This is a blog run by Jonathan Lemon. His thoughts are regularly random, occasionally coherent, and intermittently interesting. He might switch between first and third person and write his name a lot, as he has not yet mastered writing points of view.

I’m an accountant, analytical, thoughtful, and right-handed. I’m an introvert. Sometimes I get nervous meeting new people, which causes me to appear aloof during first impressions. But I warm up to people over time.

Sometimes I make people laugh, sometimes even on purpose. Experiments have yet to confirm whether I have both brain hemispheres or only the left one. I’m holding out hope for both. Just in case, perhaps this blog can help me develop some creativity and avoid listing to port.

I think lots of thoughts. It is easier for me to think than to not think. I’m trying to convert some of these thoughts (not very useful) into blog posts (potentially useful).

Sometimes I believe I could write a book if I didn’t have to come up with a plot. I had a great idea for a mystery novel until I learned someone had already written one where the butler did it. That was disheartening but I moved past it.

I read less than I think but still often. I like seeing how ideas, themes, and concepts from different sources relate to each other.

Learning interests me, and I have found that everyone and everything can be a teacher if I am quiet and listen.

My plan is to write a bit here, link to that there, and wonder and wander about. (My plan is a loose one.) The concept I find most compelling is being Better Than Yesterday.

The Flip Side

As awesome as Lemon is from the description above, he’s also dealt with anxiety and depression — because the Universe knows that anybody can beat the Game of Life on easy mode. This blog refers to the trouble the brain can create as the Monkey Mind.

These diseases replace rationality and reality with darkness and doom. And not the fun summer blockbuster kind.

These opponents totally outclassed me for most of my life. Unable to find a way to win, I accepted that I would always lose. I stopped trying to live life and instead tried to endure it. I adopted a Stuff and Puff strategy: stuff my feelings way down, ignore them, and puff out my chest like nothing was wrong.

The strategy resulted in a total failure and an unmanageable life. (You may be surprised to learn this, since that strategy has such a snappy title.) I had to surrender.

In my mind, surrender meant defeat. I had been telling myself for years that I was an impostor and a failure. Now I had confirmation.

Yet a strange thing happened. I started listening to other people instead of my own mind. They had much to teach me. For instance, surrendering can lead to victory. Indeed, surrendering a dysfunctional lifestyle is the only path to victory.

More incredulously, they told me that just because I’d had some failures in life, that did not mean I was a personally a failure. They told me I was appreciated and had much to offer others if I was willing to help.

So I’ve junked that losing strategy and am now living a life actively treating the Monkey Mind. I’m amending the damage that was done, admitting where I’ve gone wrong, and trying to be of service where I can.

Amazing how sometimes the answer is exactly the opposite of what was tried before. Ironic, you might say.

Transmogrification

Can you commit suicide by apathy? I think you can. I tried it for a while and was unsuccessful (luckily). It seems other people actually liked having me around and wouldn’t let me quit. I did not understand why, but I’ve learned to accept the unconditional gifts of others with at least a modicum of grace. As a result, this Jonathan Lemon guy hasn’t given up yet. He keeps trying to be better than yesterday.

I’ve realized (through the help of others) that my brain has been an unreliable narrator for a while. As a result, I’ve changed the way I was living, moving back towards living and away from enduring.

This blog is one of the changes. It gives me an outlet for thoughts and “creativity” (air quotes included, as it has not yet been proven that accountants can be creative).

Apathy cannot exist within a blog. Blogs require too much effort to curate. Whether anything on this blog will get read remains to be seen. However, I do know one thing. If we assume apathy equates to engaging in life at a level of zero, any increase of engagement is, in percentage terms, infinite. So this blog represents infinity! That’s pretty cool (for an accountant anyway).