What is Enough?

Enough – a confusing spelling for a confusing concept.

In my last post I talked about how I wasn’t a perfectionist, I just needed things to be “good enough.” But what is good enough? 

Good enough sounds positive and happy; it has the word “good” in it. But it’s a dangerous phrase.

It’s lack of specificity creates a vacuum that is filled by assumptions and insecurities. The phrase creates a standard to be defined after the fact, which means the person to whom the standard is applied is set up for failure. Success flows from the whims of the judge, never from merit.

If we think about this phrase for a bit, we realize it often communicates negative information. “You’re not good enough.” “Your effort wasn’t good enough.” “This isn’t good enough.” It is a phrase that exists to paint a dark contrast — whatever good is, the referenced person or item isn’t it.

Even if the phrase is not spoken for negative contrast, it’s not flattering. “That dinner was good enough.” If you worked really hard on dinner and someone said it was good enough, would you take that as a compliment? 

So where does this phrase come from? It seems to come from a human propensity for judgment – to judge others and ourselves.  Making judgments allows us to lift ourselves above that which is being judged. By judging others, we are in the club and they are not. Even if they pass our judgment, they gain entry to the club where we are already members, and we still have seniority.

This elevation exists even for self-judgment. After all, when we judge ourselves who is doing the judging? We are. We are this elevated, because only knowledgeable and competent people can be expected to understand what it takes to meet a standard.

Another culprit is the hedonic treadmill. Basically, we become adapted to the current situation. Situations we experience as good today become less good over time simply because we get used to them. Eventually we experience them as boring or unsatisfactory. 

In addition, the culture we live in contributes to the “good enough” concept. Culture tells us we need to keep improving, making progress, becoming better. Make more money, get a bigger house, grow your stock portfolio, get a side hustle. 

Are you rich yet? You must not be doing enough. 

So how do we escape this trap? The first step is recognition. When we realize the word “enough” is poison we can stop drinking it. We can become alert to the true nature of the phrase.

Next, live life objectively. “Not enough” comes into play when things aren’t defined. If we set clear goals and expectations then ambiguity is removed. There is no room for the judgment of others since the result is self-evident. 

Finally, gratitude. Being comfortable right now, with where we are and what we have. When we don’t need more, we have enough. We often want more; we rarely need more. 

Am I grateful for where I am right now? If so, the commercial for that new car is not appealing. I don’t derive my self worth from the approval of others, and thus I’m unaffected by anything unflattering they may say about me. I can pass on plowing my life savings into the newest cryptocurrency.

As Eric Hoffer once said, “You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.”