I’ve discussed my latest diet endeavors here recently. The main theme is how complicated and confusing eating has become.

One area where I am thoroughly bamboozled is fruit. Is fruit healthy? I know fruit tastes good, but I’m not sure it’s doing anything for my health.

The narrative for my whole life has been to eat plenty of whole grains, vegetables, and fruit. We’re supposed to eat those things because they have vitamins. Vitamins are important for a number of reasons. I don’t really know what those reasons are (I’m not a doctor) but I know those reasons exist.

Anyway, the story goes that if you don’t get vitamins bad things will happen. So get vitamins.

Except…I never ate many fruits or vegetables as a kid and I never had any health issues. Now I eat many more fruits and vegetables and I’ve not noticed any health benefit.

I’ve noticed the effect fruit has on my joint and nerve pain — it increases both. I don’t think that is a sign of a healthy food.

I’ve also noticed the effect fruit has on my weight. If I eat meat only, or meat and non-starchy vegetables, weight just falls off me. I lose weight effortlessly. I see all these commercials for expensive diet plans and supplements, with people working their behinds off (figuratively, not literally) to lose weight. Perhaps it’s the carbs?

It definitely is for me. If I eat fruit I gain weight. I don’t need new pants or anything, but it does make me wonder if this is something that’s good for me.

There is a popular way of eating called the Paleo Diet. This diet tries to exclude any foods that wouldn’t have existed for our ancestors hundreds and thousands of years ago.

One Paleo theory regarding fruit and weight is that fruit helps humans gain weight in the summer and fall to help get through the lean times of winter. I don’t know how thoroughly researched that claim is, so take it with a grain of salt.

Another way fruit can affect weight is with fructose. Fructose is a sugar found in fruits and other plants. Fructose can only be used by the liver for energy. This is in contrast to glucose (the other main type of sugar), which can be used by every cell in the body. Any fructose the liver can’t use for energy gets turned into fat.

I’m not political about food. I don’t say any food is “good” or “bad.” There is only food that is good or bad for me. And it seems that fruit isn’t doing me any favors.

But it tastes so good! And the “fruit is healthy” mantra gives fruit wonderful camouflage. I know I should probably limit or eliminate it, but it’s easy to lose conviction because it’s a “health food.” I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten donuts or pizza — there’s no lying to myself about the merits of those items.

The next time I hear “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” it would be good to remember that two words should be tacked on the the end of that phrase: for some.

Imagine for a moment you are in an unfamiliar situation. What are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to behave? Where do you go?

To answer these questions, you likely would look at the people around you and copy them. Do as the Romans do.

This is known as social proof. It’s often exploited to get you to buy products (ever used product reviews to decide what to buy?) But more importantly it’s a sign of insecurity.

Imagine again that you are in an unfamiliar situation. But now imagine that you have supreme confidence. You have what you need to solve any problem and rise to any occasion. With such confidence, who cares what other people are doing?

Leaders and creators don’t fall under the spell of social proof. You can’t make new things by following others. But most people, most of the time, are casting sideways glances at others to make sure they’re not standing out too much.

The interesting thing about looking at others is we have no way of knowing if others know what they’re doing. Why do I trust others’ judgment more than my own? In an unfamiliar situation, why do I feel like other people know more than I do?

I fall victim to social proof when it comes to diet. I wrote previously that I’m trying to find a diet to reduce my inflammation. I’ve read extensively about different diets, and I find myself aligned with whatever diet was advocated by the last article I read.

I mean, other people seem so confident in their diets! And they seemingly get results. I have neither of those things.

But this lack of confidence undermines my efforts. Any dietary success takes a while to materialize, often several months. Yo-yo’ing between approaches just means I’ll never see positive results. It would be much better to stick to one approach, any approach, for an extended period of time to give myself a chance to succeed.

It takes a lot of discipline to trust yourself when no one else is going along — see Asch’s Conformity Experiments for a very interesting example of this. It’s very tempting to be wrong with everyone else than be right by yourself.

At the end of the day…easy does it. It’s ok to do things differently — and even if you do, it goes unnoticed most of the time. But keep in mind that doing things differently are where new discoveries are made.  

 

Over the last several years I’ve dealt with increasing levels of inflammation. It mostly manifests as joint and back pain, and I’ve noticed a number of things that affect the amount of pain I feel. Those things include sleep, stress, but most of all diet.

So the question is, what should I eat? That’s a great question, and I don’t know the answer.

I think I’ve read books and articles for and against almost every food, except sugar. Sugar is the one thing that is universally condemned (to my chagrin, since that was my favorite food group).

Are spinach and turmeric anti-inflammatory? Yes — unless you’re sensitive to oxalates. Are berries anti-inflammatory? Yes — unless you’re sensitive to fructose. Is salmon anti-inflammatory? Yes — unless you’re allergic to fish or sensitive to mercury. On and on it goes.

Unfortunately, it seems that there isn’t a guaranteed approach for every individual. The best way forward is found through trial and error. 

For me, it’s been mostly error. It seems like I react to almost everything. Also, I’m reacting to more foods over time, so my choices keep shrinking. At this point I’m fairly sure I can eat meat, fish, and cruciferous vegetables without getting a reaction, but it’s tough to tell. I’m not the best practitioner of elimination diets. It’s tough for me to add things back one at a time, which is the entire point of the exercise. 

As for what I know, it looks like gluten, nuts/seeds, and sugar give me problems. It seems like dairy does as well, along with fruit and nightshades. I think at this point I need to shift my mindset from considering which foods to avoid to which foods are ok (as I said before: meat, fish, cruciferous vegetables, salt, and water).

This is not a fun process. It’s interesting to observe that the difficulty in abstaining from most foods is entirely psychological. I’m not hungry at all – meat and broccoli are very filling. I eat twice a day and never feel compelled to snack. I can eat as much as I want and not gain weight; it almost seems like calories are irrelevant if I stick to these basic foods. I’ve lost 20 pounds in 5 months, mostly fat.

And I’ve had zero fun doing it. Oh, it’s your birthday? Happy birthday! I’ll pass on the pizza and cake.

We’re going out to eat? Great! Hi, I’ll have a steak with no seasoning and no sides please.

You’ve got a new recipe? Let me know how it goes. I’m going to eat ground beef again.

People need food for nutrients and energy, but that’s not how food is experienced in our society. At least, that’s not how I experienced it. Maybe it would have been different if there were times when I didn’t have enough food, but I was fortunate that was never the case.

Food for me was fun. A celebration. A reward. A break. Stress relief. Entertainment. A social event.

It is no longer any of those things. It is 100% about getting nutrients and calories, and it’s a bit depressing. I miss experiencing food as fun or a celebration.

But I also miss the days when I was pain free. When I could walk down the stairs without difficulty, or pick something up off the floor without any issues. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve had ice cream, and it’s been a long time since stairs have been easy. I’d rather experience the second thing.

My diet’s been leaky lately and I’ve paid for it (with inflation and inflammation). Fruit is presented as healthy, but for me it’s another form of sugar. “Nature’s candy,” I’ve heard it called. I need to get back to basics — meat and cruciferous vegetables.

Of course, I often make my path harder by framing it as “forever” instead of “one meal at a time.” That is a great strategy for failure, and I’ve failed often.

Elimination diets don’t yield results unless you are 100% compliant for a long stretch of time, often 100 days at minimum. “Do or do not, there is no try.” (I forget who said that, but it must have been Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Winston Churchill, as they seem to be the only people who are ever quoted.)

It’s easy for me to fall into the trap of “fruit is healthy,” “almonds are healthy,” etc. I haven’t fallen off the wagon with candy or ice cream, but for me, nuts and fruit yield the same result: pain.

Pain is a great teacher. If I don’t learn the lesson, pain will keep on learnin’ me until I yield. Today, I yield. Sometimes, it is through yielding that we find a solution. 

If I see a fresh bowl of berries, my attitude might not be so firm. But I don’t have to worry about that — I need only be concerned with right now. If I can remember that, I’ll have more success.

PS, to any of you who were wondering, losing 20 pounds does not automatically make you feel better!

Enough – a confusing spelling for a confusing concept.

In my last post I talked about how I wasn’t a perfectionist, I just needed things to be “good enough.” But what is good enough? 

Good enough sounds positive and happy; it has the word “good” in it. But it’s a dangerous phrase.

It’s lack of specificity creates a vacuum that is filled by assumptions and insecurities. The phrase creates a standard to be defined after the fact, which means the person to whom the standard is applied is set up for failure. Success flows from the whims of the judge, never from merit.

If we think about this phrase for a bit, we realize it often communicates negative information. “You’re not good enough.” “Your effort wasn’t good enough.” “This isn’t good enough.” It is a phrase that exists to paint a dark contrast — whatever good is, the referenced person or item isn’t it.

Even if the phrase is not spoken for negative contrast, it’s not flattering. “That dinner was good enough.” If you worked really hard on dinner and someone said it was good enough, would you take that as a compliment? 

So where does this phrase come from? It seems to come from a human propensity for judgment – to judge others and ourselves.  Making judgments allows us to lift ourselves above that which is being judged. By judging others, we are in the club and they are not. Even if they pass our judgment, they gain entry to the club where we are already members, and we still have seniority.

This elevation exists even for self-judgment. After all, when we judge ourselves who is doing the judging? We are. We are this elevated, because only knowledgeable and competent people can be expected to understand what it takes to meet a standard.

Another culprit is the hedonic treadmill. Basically, we become adapted to the current situation. Situations we experience as good today become less good over time simply because we get used to them. Eventually we experience them as boring or unsatisfactory. 

In addition, the culture we live in contributes to the “good enough” concept. Culture tells us we need to keep improving, making progress, becoming better. Make more money, get a bigger house, grow your stock portfolio, get a side hustle. 

Are you rich yet? You must not be doing enough. 

So how do we escape this trap? The first step is recognition. When we realize the word “enough” is poison we can stop drinking it. We can become alert to the true nature of the phrase.

Next, live life objectively. “Not enough” comes into play when things aren’t defined. If we set clear goals and expectations then ambiguity is removed. There is no room for the judgment of others since the result is self-evident. 

Finally, gratitude. Being comfortable right now, with where we are and what we have. When we don’t need more, we have enough. We often want more; we rarely need more. 

Am I grateful for where I am right now? If so, the commercial for that new car is not appealing. I don’t derive my self worth from the approval of others, and thus I’m unaffected by anything unflattering they may say about me. I can pass on plowing my life savings into the newest cryptocurrency.

As Eric Hoffer once said, “You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.”

 

You’ve probably heard that perfect is the enemy of the good. And that is true. A need to be perfect is a throttle on production – I mean, how many David statues did Michelangelo produce?

That’s the case with my blog here. Not specifically a dearth of David statues, but generally the production throttle. You might say production was down last year, seeing as how I didn’t post a single article all of last year! (Zero is one of the lower numbers I’m told.)

I could blame life, or Covid, or Daylight Savings. But really, sometimes it’s hard for me to get motivated to write. I’ve had some health issues that sap my energy, that is a contributor. But also, I’m a perfectionist. I know in the back of my mind how much effort it takes to be perfect, and I get tired even before I start. Besides, “perfect” as a standard is not specifically defined, which means it can be moved by an irrational brain.

My brain did this tricky thing that I didn’t notice until a few years back. I used to not describe myself as a perfectionist. I didn’t need things to be perfect — I just needed them to be “good enough.” The English language has a concept called synonyms where different words can mean the same thing. I did not notice that “good enough” was another way to say “perfect.” Situations like this are why you need to pay attention in English class.

You know how many perfect articles I published last year? Zero. You know how many good articles I published last year? Zero. (I’ve probably not published one perfect article ever, but hopefully have managed to publish a couple good ones.)

Unrealistic expectations also come into play. In my mind, I should be writing at lease one 500-word article a week. On top of my job and the other things I’ve got going on in life. 

Now let’s say four weeks go by and I didn’t write anything. In the fifth week, is my expectation to write one 500-page article? No. The expectation is to write 5 articles and make up for lost time. 

Well, 5 articles is a lot, and I’m tired, and I can’t write that much so I’ll just not even start. Not to mention trying to come up with a title, and proofreading, etc.

And then four weeks without an article becomes five, and so on.

Letting past baggage weigh down the current moment is a strategy for failure. It doesn’t matter what the endeavor is. Making a load heavier doesn’t make it easier to carry. That’s a lesson I have to remember on a daily basis. Loading up on baggage is a habit of mine. (I’m like that Southwest Airlines motto from a few years back — Bags Fly Free.)

I can’t change any past weeks – well, not literally. I could manipulate the posting dates for any articles I write. But right now I’m not inclined to write 50+ articles and back date them. Even if I were, that would invalidate this article so I’d have to write another one! 

So this article is my Week 1. During a given week, my expectation is to write a 500-word post. This article keeps me on track.

If I keep my mind right, next week is also Week 1. The expectation would be to write one 500-word post.

If I view every week as Week 1, my task is to write one article. That is a very manageable load. Unmanageability doesn’t get you too far in life.

Will I remember this lesson? Well…what’s the date stamp of the article after this one?