Fault and Responsibility

I haven’t written any articles in a while. Maybe if I write extemporaneously, I can post quickly before I think too much…

A couple months back my mom gave me a book by Mark Manson titled The Subtle Art of Not Giving a… hmm, I’m having trouble remembering the rest of the title.

Anyway, I was skeptical. (“Color me dubious,” I heard someone say once.) Before I opened the book I’d already re-titled it Stoicism for Millennials: Learn Philosophy in 5-Second Increments. Communicate 280 characters at a time, add some profanity, and you have a Millennial best-seller.

But I can’t resist at least starting a book, especially one that’s short and easy to read (I’ll give Millennials credit here).

I ended up enjoying the book. It had more depth than my initial assessment (of none). Can you guess what cliche applies here? ($10 to the gentleman that said, “Never judge a book with an F-word on the cover.”)

I found several points interesting, including the distinction between Fault and Responsibility.

If something bad happens to a person, that person might be at fault. Or it might be someone else’s fault. It might be bad luck. But after the event, from that point forward, that person is responsible for his or her life situation and response.

That passage surprised me. Like I said, I was expecting more of a pop culture book. A culture where outrage and blame are common expressions.

But an assertion of personal responsibility is old-school. The concept is found throughout sources of wisdom, whether religious or philosophic.

Why? Because it’s true. Some things cannot be done by anyone besides the individual. (For example, only I feel my feelings.)

If I feel bad, other people can try to help, but they can’t enter my brain and press neurons until happy ones light up. I can emulate Eeyore no matter what anyone else does around me.

I could also demand that someone or something else make me feel better. But such a demand can’t be fulfilled. Firstly, because it’s not anyone else’s job. But secondly, even if it were, it’s impossible for external people or things to change my mind anyway. A mind is changed from the inside-out.

To wrap this up, there are different kinds of truths. Some truths are intellectual and can be learned through books, conversations, etc. Other truths are experiential. They cannot be understood until they are undergone. (If you have too much charisma and want to get rid of some, you can start using the terms “a priori” and “a posteriori” knowledge in everyday conversation.)

Riding a bike is a useful metaphor–someone can’t ride a bike by reading about bike riding. It must be experienced to be understood. If you want to ride a bike, you have to ride a bike.

Understanding the difference between fault and responsibility is an experiential truth. It’s hard to grasp through words alone. After all, it’s counter-intuitive (the subtitle of Manson’s book).