Certain words easily evoke mental imagery. “Freedom” is one of those words. Several pictures come to mind right away: 4th of July fireworks, broken chains, Tom Petty. But the freedom-est image I’ve ever seen might be a sideways shopping cart.

I was buying groceries recently. (You’re likely thinking I’m the type of person who grows his own food—that’s a myth I’ve been fighting for years. I wear overalls for the convenience, not because I farm.)

I passed an aisle where an older lady had her shopping cart perpendicular to the aisle. Normally shoppers have their carts in line with the aisle, walking down the aisle and grabbing items as needed.

If you turn your cart sideways, or perpendicular to the aisle, people can’t get around you. You have become a transformer—transforming from shopper to obstacle. If your life goals include making as many enemies as possible, being a perpendicular person is a good strategy.

Predictably, a blockage formed. Behind the woman, five people couldn’t get out of the aisle. She blocked one way, and shoppers entering the aisle blocked the other.

I stood off to the side and watched. I found her display more interesting than the ice cream display (and I love the ice cream display).

The woman seemed totally unbothered by blocking these people. She took her time getting her items. It seemed like it took her an eternity finish collecting everything, but it probably only took 15-20 seconds.

The display fascinated me because I don’t think I could do that. I don’t think I could live the perpendicular life. I’m a parallel guy. I care too much about what other people think about me.

There have been times where I’m in an aisle, the aisle gets crowded, and I leave without getting my item because I’m so concerned about blocking people. My concern shifts from shopping to worrying that I resemble arterial plaque.   

To me, that woman’s feat was as impressive as a 9.7 second 100-meter dash, a 400-pound bench press, or declining free dessert. All of those things are difficult and rare.

Imagine being that free from caring about what other people think. I’m not advocating blocking people in an aisle on purpose, or deciding to only wear sweatpants from now on. I’m just saying, what would it be like to function free of the perceived expectations of other people? Probably pretty liberating.

Kudos to you ma’am. I hope others are able to achieve your level of freedom.

It seems I haven’t written any articles recently. But I had a good reason for my absence. Actually, I had 50 good reasons:

1. I’m too good a writer to spend my time writing.
2. I’m too bad a writer to spend my time writing.
3. I couldn’t think of anything to write about.
4. There were too many things to write about.
5. English has too many words. It’s unmanageable.
6. I was too busy.
7. I finally got free time and didn’t want to waste it doing something productive.
8. I’m still recovering from Daylight Savings time.
9. It was too hot to write.
10. It was too cold to write.
11. It was too early to write.
12. It was too late to write.
13. Three bears distracted me.
14. I forgot the difference between a participle and gerund and was worried I’d embarrass myself.
15. My glasses were smudged.
16. I was cleaning my glasses.
17. I was taking harpsichord lessons.
18. I realized that my career as a harpsichord player had limited upside, switched to the pan flute, and ran into the same issue.
19. I was training for the World’s Strongest Man Competition.
20. I failed to qualify for the World’s Strongest Man Competition.
21. I started training for the World’s Weakest Man Competition. Realized there was no such thing. Considered starting it.
22. It was baseball season.
23. It was football season.
24. It was golf season.
25. It was soccer season.
26. My shoes came untied.
27. I was looking into getting slip-on shoes.
28. I was hungry.
29. I ate too much.
30. I was tired.
31. I was too restless.
32. My desk was too cluttered.
33. I was cleaning my desk.
34. I couldn’t remember where I put the things that used to be on my desk.
35. I was trying to remember the Spanish word for ‘lemon.’
36. I was worried that not remembering the Spanish word for ‘lemon’ was a sign of cognitive decline.
37. I was wondering if I would care about my cognitive decline if I was too declined to remember the cognition I lost.
38. I ran out of breadcrumbs.
39. I read about the importance of Vitamin D.
40. I was standing outside to get Vitamin D.
41. It’s too painful to write with sunburn.
42. I lost a sock.
43. I found a sock I thought I lost, but I already got rid of the other sock, and had to deal with pangs of regret.
44. My pen ran out of ink.
45. My highlighter ran out of… highlighter juice.
46. I had to evaluate what color highlighters to get.
47. I had to deal with the anxiety resulting from too many highlighter options.
48. My foot fell asleep.
49. My bookmark fell out and I had to find my page.
50. I was–squirrel!

I haven’t written any articles in a while. Maybe if I write extemporaneously, I can post quickly before I think too much…

A couple months back my mom gave me a book by Mark Manson titled The Subtle Art of Not Giving a… hmm, I’m having trouble remembering the rest of the title.

Anyway, I was skeptical. (“Color me dubious,” I heard someone say once.) Before I opened the book I’d already re-titled it Stoicism for Millennials: Learn Philosophy in 5-Second Increments. Communicate 280 characters at a time, add some profanity, and you have a Millennial best-seller.

But I can’t resist at least starting a book, especially one that’s short and easy to read (I’ll give Millennials credit here).

I ended up enjoying the book. It had more depth than my initial assessment (of none). Can you guess what cliche applies here? ($10 to the gentleman that said, “Never judge a book with an F-word on the cover.”)

I found several points interesting, including the distinction between Fault and Responsibility.

If something bad happens to a person, that person might be at fault. Or it might be someone else’s fault. It might be bad luck. But after the event, from that point forward, that person is responsible for his or her life situation and response.

That passage surprised me. Like I said, I was expecting more of a pop culture book. A culture where outrage and blame are common expressions.

But an assertion of personal responsibility is old-school. The concept is found throughout sources of wisdom, whether religious or philosophic.

Why? Because it’s true. Some things cannot be done by anyone besides the individual. (For example, only I feel my feelings.)

If I feel bad, other people can try to help, but they can’t enter my brain and press neurons until happy ones light up. I can emulate Eeyore no matter what anyone else does around me.

I could also demand that someone or something else make me feel better. But such a demand can’t be fulfilled. Firstly, because it’s not anyone else’s job. But secondly, even if it were, it’s impossible for external people or things to change my mind anyway. A mind is changed from the inside-out.

To wrap this up, there are different kinds of truths. Some truths are intellectual and can be learned through books, conversations, etc. Other truths are experiential. They cannot be understood until they are undergone. (If you have too much charisma and want to get rid of some, you can start using the terms “a priori” and “a posteriori” knowledge in everyday conversation.)

Riding a bike is a useful metaphor–someone can’t ride a bike by reading about bike riding. It must be experienced to be understood. If you want to ride a bike, you have to ride a bike.

Understanding the difference between fault and responsibility is an experiential truth. It’s hard to grasp through words alone. After all, it’s counter-intuitive (the subtitle of Manson’s book).